idiotblogger:

One time when I was 7 i went to this big department store and there was giant rugs hanging from the celling and you could move them to see more rugs, so i moved one and there was an employee sitting behind it eating a bag of Doritos and I screamed and started crying and the store gave us a free rug

(via superrichkid-s)

madeleines-myth:

hahahah actually me
but i’m working on it, i can jog for 15 straight minutes now!  

-theconsequence:

his pledge to her:i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar.  i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

-theconsequence:

his pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar.  i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

I want to buy new clothes but I’m too depressed about my weight to try them on.

dai-sy-m:

my hobbies include sleeping and feeling like i’ve never slept

(via shampaynez)

eddymorino:


Just another day at the dildo factory.

Jobs that you forget actually exist.

eddymorino:

Just another day at the dildo factory.

Jobs that you forget actually exist.

(via clanni)

Accent theme by Handsome Code

My name is Georgia and I like to party


Ask me anything